American Apparel, Wicker Park, Chicago. I walked in for a denim shirt. I walked straight to this little tribal print dress. So cute; I could picture the accessorizing I’d do to it already. It fit kinda perfect, too. There wasn’t enough slack in the midsection, though, which made me feel like a cheap hooker. What if I wanted to indulge in a big bowl of pasta while wearing said dress?
Spaghetti aglio e olio were the least of my worries when I looked at the price tag. $40.00 US. Seems like a steal but really it’s as exorbitant as caviar on a Monday night. The dress was probably sewn by some poor underpaid soul. Low grade cotton. One wash expiration date. Was I really going to drop a crisp lobster on something that is worth – maybe – a toonie? My boyfriend furrowed his brows at my reasoning. You’re crazy, he said, what’s 50 bucks?
What’s 50 bucks, you say? As I reorganize my closet these days, ironing all the cotton/polyester blend H&M, Zara and whatever pieces I own a plethora of I could throw them all out in a heartbeat. In fact, I’ve accumulated a garbage pile just in case I decide to take it to the next level (or my mom turns them into stracci). After one wear these garments become unwearable. The quality is crapola. And at the end of the day I’m left with a closet I spent thousands of dollars on that can only afford me the air of a chic hobo.
Balls! All those damn little balls that accumulate on my sweaters after a few washes. I could scream! And then people think I’m crazy when I contemplate buying a $1200 knit sweater from Missoni – well, a Missoni sweater never balled on me before. Sure, I’d never spend $600 on Alexander Wang (glorified H&M as I like to call him), but there are still some designers that make a mean crepe blouse that won’t rip or ball or make you look homeless.
I hesitate to press ‘buy’ on the latest Givenchy collection on Luisa Via Roma. But, then again, I could spend $5000 on a sweater, a dress and maybe a pair of pants that will last forever. And another $5000 in the Fall and then another $5000 in the Spring. Sure, $15,000 seems like a huge clothing allowance but I doubt my numbers already don’t look like that. You got to admit, I have a point.
So to all my instagram loves who liked this dress and who encouraged me to buy it. I’m sorry to disappoint but, 50 bucks is 50 bucks….