Prada Fall/Winter 2012 

Last week I read the most lucid analysis of the art of putting an outfit together by Katherine Bernard. My friend, Lauren, sent it my way totally acknowledging an unspoken mutual veneration we have for a little old woman named Miuccia. Finally. We spoke about it Saturday night. She was like, ‘girl, don’t show me those tacky ass plaid monograms’ and I was like ‘hell yeah, hell yeah…’

Prada, according to Bernard (and with whom I completely agree), arranges an outfit using the principle of the spidercunt, referencing a literary passage by Sam Lipsyte. I died and went to heaven when I read this:

When you see someone take a risk in a look that works, you can almost read it: their easy weekend sweater (cool), paired with perfect trousers recalling Gatsby-era suiting (chic), and then platform gold sneakers that resurrect your awareness of the Spice Girls (spiderc—t).

I mean, isn’t this what we’re all thinking when we get dressed in the morning. It’s about finding the spidercunt in our wardrobe – and she’s as elusive as you’d expect her to be. It ain’t easy. Sometimes, when I’ve exhausted all possibilities for a certain combining of elements and still can’t get it right I think to myself, ‘you suck’, but then I finally (somehow) find that missing element – the spidercunt – and my outfit suddenly clicks. And it cannot be ANY OTHER WAY. I love that feeling. I’m so happy Bernard articulated that exact thing and made it a thing.

Now when I get dressed I’ll just quietly remember spidercunt.

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