Desperate times call for DIY. My old denim shorts don’t fit me anymore and guess what, summer is upon us. Time for ‘minding the gap’ as I was recently introduced to on The Chive. Yay, a site that objectifies women by allowing us to voluntarily objectify ourselves! Need more of these opportunities in our post-Mulveyian landscape, that’s for sure. But back to my shorts, and how short I cut them so that if you wanted to, you could actually mind my gap, which is not what I want at all. #laserhairremovalisexpensive

Assuming, or hoping, that my readership is predominantly fashion chicks and not perverts, let’s talk about how-to make these cut-off shorts. First, you need mom jeans. The way my mom hoards her 1998 Calvin Klein jeans, there is no shortage of these around my place. Second, you need to watch this video. Lastly, take the drier instructions quite literally. I let mine go for 40 minutes instead of 20 and that’s why I will now be flashing my gap and cheeks in the most self-effacing way on the 63 Ossington bus route. Hide your kids.

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