image: Audrey Hepburn in Charade (1963)

12 Days of Eurotrash – Can you even believe I’ve finished my Christmas shopping? Now it’s time for what I like to call Cabin Fever. A few years ago I posted The Eurotrash Stocking Stuffed - looking back I can’t believe we’ve come this far. So what does cabin fever mean to me? Well, it starts with a little trip to the video store, a month supply of hot chocolate, maybe some cookies, rum, and of course, made-for-home leg warmers, cashmere socks, knit pyjama pants and a house coat with little tassels hanging off it. Obviously the Eurotrash holiday also includes champagne, caviar and a ski lift pass but ho, ho, ho, so does Audrey Hepburn.

My #1 favourite way to induce cabin fever is to watch my favourite holiday movies. Now, this isn’t your typical list of Home Alone and Jimmy Stewart – but it’s certainly a pleasant change if you’re just so sick of the typical Xmas flick.

Charade (1963): Audrey Hepburn, couture ski wear and cross-dressing heartthrob, Cary Grant. Hepburn plays a widow in Paris who tries to keep a few good men from stealing a fortune her dead husband has already stolen. Her name in the film? Regina Lampert, which I may add, I’m surprised has yet to show up in the comment box below!

Everyone Says I Love You (1996): My favourite movie for all occasions. Woody Allen pairs well with the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, in my opinion. What I absolutely love about this film is its jet-set trajectory: from Paris, to Venice and back to New York. It’s star-studded, hilarious (I will quote this film bi-weekly) and makes you wanna spend Christmas at the Ritz in Place Vendome dressed up like Goucho Marx.

The Party (1968): Holy smokes and gee whiz (in the words of Rick James) this movie is the ultimate going nowhere and everywhere picture. Peter Sellers is such a goof in this one as he attempts to ‘fit in’ at an exclusive Hollywood party after accidentally blowing up the set of the movie he plays an extra in. Totally retro eurotrash!

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970): Russ Meyer (yes, him) directs his first studio picture and makes a Russ Meyer movie, simultaneously. How in the world??? This film is great because Valley of The Dolls by Jacqueline Susann exists and Meyer’s version has nothing to do with it. Boobs, a murder, more boobs, Z-man, and pretty 70s things – ugh, it’s magic.

The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (1961): The Jose Quintero-Warren Beatty version, duh. Beatty is a total hunk in this film galavanting around Rome with an older woman. She’s a widow, he’s a gigolo. My favourite character has to be the contessa – Beatty’s pimp. She drinks Brandy out of a snifter and could very well be a drag queen.

Jewel Robbery (1932): Love, Diamonds and Weed. This William Powell movie was recently added to my list, thanks to TCM. It’s so captivating and escapes the Hays Code, which means we see legs and lust – and in this case, marijuana in Vienna. Hilariously charming -a black & white eurotrash gem.

True Lies (1994): Because Christmas isn’t Christmas without Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Die Hard is already on everyone else’s list.

Sex and the Single Girl (1964): Who doesn’t love Natalie Wood? And Tony Curtis? The car chase scene at the end of the film is slapstick at its finest. Wood’s wardrobe is fashion at its finest. Curtis in a ladies’ bathrobe is Jack Lemmon at his finest. There are so many things right with this movie. Freud and Vodka.

I soliti ignoti (1958): Monicelli’s film is better known as Big Deal on Madonna Street and if you haven’t seen it yet, well now is the perfect time. Marcello Mastroianni’s performance stands out as he never really was comedic, at least, intentionally, but here he gets the most laughs – save for Totò who is funny even just to look at. Small time Italian crooks eat pasta e fagioli at the crime scene – that’s my tagline for this film.

National Treasure (2004): What? If you have a problem with Nick Cage and/or Harvey Keitel don’t talk to me. This film is my guilty pleasure. It’s awful and it’s so good, illuminati style. And of course what’s an illuminati film without Jon Voight? Amiright?

And remember, you could be watching these movies and dousing yourself in $400 worth of Canadian designer goodies, courtesy of me! ENTER THE 12 DAYS OF EUROTRASH TO WIN! How? 

Name my Eurotrash girl (the one clad in knee socks, ray bans and the santa hat). Simply LEAVE A COMMENT on this page, or any of the upcoming 12 Days of Eurotrash entries with Your Name, Your Email Address and what you think I should name my Eurotrash girl, the mascot of my blog since day 1! For example:

Name: Justine Iaboni

Email Address: j.iaboni@whatevereurotrash.com 

Eurotrash Name: Monica (after my favourite actress, Monica Vitti). 

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