You see this beautiful “Aphrodite Wrap Dress”? It was scheduled to be hanging in my closet three weeks ago; in my overnight bag in 2 days and on my person this Saturday from noon until the wee hours of the night. Thanks to the Canada Post strike, however, it sits all folded up in a cardboard box at a holding centre in Mississauga. I’ve contemplating breaking and entering. I’m still contemplating it.
Let me skip back a bit and give you some context so as to understand my criminal mind.
It was the beginning of June and eurotrash was on the hunt. She needed to find a dress in due time for her best friend’s (sister’s) wedding on June 25. Ladies and gentlemen, I had ample time and when I saw this blush beauty on the Nasty Gal website (advertised above) I quickly punched in my VISA number, added an extra 50 bones to get it shipped in 5 days expresssssss, and closed my browser. The dress was perfect, it was mine and it would be here just in time for me to pair accessories.
Then it happened. Canada turned into Italy as she often does in the summertime when our North American amenities are most prized: garbage strike in ’09; postage strike happening all day and tomorrow. In fact it’s been happening for over a month now. But, I don’t need to tell you that because chances are you’re still waiting for a dress or a tax refund, too.
So what’s a girl to do? The strike has of course, gone longer than predicted and there seems to be no way out. Last night we passed by the picket lines on Dufferin, the workers building a huge bonfire in the middle of the street, roasting god knows what – probably our mail. I’m not saying the strike is dumb, it’s just poorly timed. I have no dress to wear. No accessories to match. And no crowbar. (Idk, I’m guessing that’s what one uses to break into places a la Joe Pesci in Home Alone)
If you see me in the news Friday evening, face blurred, gucci bag in hand, being cuffed for breaking into a postal building in Mississauga remember one thing: I am a victim. A Canada Post Fashion Victim.